What Not To Wear

I love the show "What Not To Wear."  If you don't know what I'm talking about, it's an American reality TV program where family and friends nominate a loved one who is clueless when it comes to fashion.  Once the person agrees to trash (or donate) their current wardrobe and shop by some "rules", they are given $5000 and a trip to New York City for a shopping spree, hair, and makeup.   Lately, my daughter and I have been watching old episodes online.  Stacey and Clinton, the hosts, are masters at transforming not only people's wardrobes, but their perceptions of themselves.  There are often tears shed as the contributors confront their body image issues, many times uncovering emotional reasons for why they dress the way they do, no matter what size they are.  As Stacey and Clinton are apt to point out, what you wear can be a reflection of who you are on the inside.  It's a powerful moment when the person realizes that simple changes in clothing can alter their entire attitude and outlook, and they emerge looking confident and beautiful (and sometimes 20 pounds lighter!)  Do clothes really have that much power?  When what you wear can put you in jail, yes, clothes have a lot of power.

Here in Brunei, I am definitely not concerned with fashion.  It's all about staying cool and comfortable in this tropical climate.  And everyone knows I love me some Crocs footwear.  Brunei is a Muslim country though, and with last week's implementation of the first phase of Sharia law, we are forced to consider what not to wear.  "Indecent dress" is punishable by a fine and/or jail time.  But what exactly is "indecent"?  The authorities haven't laid out a clear-cut dress code to tell us exactly what not to wear.  Of course, the local Muslim women are covered head to toe.  They wear colorful head coverings (hijab) that leave their faces exposed, unlike some Middle Eastern women who wear all black with just a slit for their eyes.  But for non-Muslims in Brunei, there are no specific "rules."  I assume that this is where common sense comes into play.  Obviously, cleavage is a no-no.  It seems reasonable that shoulders should be covered, but what about elbows?  Do we need to cover our knees, or is it ok to wear something that hits just above the knee?  Or should we play it safe and cover down to our ankles?   Yesterday I was going to go to the grocery store, but had on jean shorts and a sleeveless top at home.  I changed before I went, just to be safe.  But then I ran into a friend who had come straight from the pool in her swimsuit cover-up, and she said she felt like a heathen.  I told her I hoped she didn't get arrested, which sounds funny, but could that happen?  No one really knows.  What not to wear seems up for interpretation.  We don't have Stacey and Clinton to guide us, and the repercussions of wearing the wrong thing are steep.  For now, I will play it safe, wear capri pants,  and always carry a cardigan with me (which is a look that, along with my trusty Crocs, would likely get me nominated for What Not To Wear!)

The Simple Life

Simplify Your Life.  

These 3 words, painted on a rustic wooden sign at a quiet Texas bed and breakfast, caught my attention 5 years ago.  I announced to Keith that that was my motto, and I would strive to simplify my life.  Ironically, we would soon discover that God had given us a 10 year anniversary surprise while we were at that bed and breakfast, and our 4th baby was on the way.  God must have a sense of humor because obviously having a 4th child is a decidedly complicating factor, and having 4 children under the age of 7 is far from "simple."  Well, unless you have 12 kids, in which case I'm sure 4 would be a piece of cake.  Still, the idea that we could experience simplicity as a family of 6 was appealing to me.   Could we swim against the current so to speak, and break the cultural trends to work more, to buy and consume more, to enroll in more activities, to spend more time in the car, to stress more, to constantly strive for more?   Could we simplify our life by removing the excess and focusing on what was truly important to us?

From my 2009 photo album

Moving to the other side of the world forced us to simplify in many ways.  In preparation for D-Day (departure day), we donated loads of our stuff to make room in the 40-foot container that would transport our belongings the 9,000+ miles to Brunei, where we knew we would have less space.  We down-sized from a 4 bedroom home to a 3 bedroom home.  We went from 3 bathrooms to 2 (smaller) bathrooms.  From 8 sinks (what?!?  I had to count several times to be sure) to 3 sinks.  A massive walk-in pantry to no pantry.  Large appliances (oven, fridge, dishwasher, washer/dryer) to small Asian ones.  Obscenely cavernous his/hers walk-in closets off our gigantic bathroom, with built-in dressers and shelves, to 2 cupboards built into one wall of our bedroom.   An oversized 2-car garage to no garage.  2 floored attic storage spaces to no attic space.  12 or so local TV channels (no cable or satellite for us, part of our previous simple living) to no TV service at all.  Relatively nice used automobiles (automatic sliding doors, leather interior, DVD player) to crappy used vehicles (regular old doors that open outward- not fun with little kids and tight parking spaces, no CD player much less DVD, air conditioning that only cools on a cloudy day, car parts constantly falling off or breaking, and a sunroof that leaks water onto my lap when it rains.)   Unlike most "upwardly mobile" fellow suburbanites with 2 or 3 kids, on the quest for bigger and better, we were downsizing and downgrading, and seemingly regressing, with 4 kids.   And though we experienced some frustrations, at the same time it was strangely liberating.

While we once had virtually unlimited shopping venues, we now have just a couple of stores worth entering.  And forget about buying clothes here unless you want a shirt, like I did, that says "Love Me Sweet and Glamorous, You Happy Paradise For", or some other poorly translated slogan!   No more wandering the aisles of Target… sigh…  but, decisions are a lot easier when there aren't 14 rows of cereals, or 50 brands of moisturizer, or any alcohol whatsoever.   You choose one out of the three available options, or do without, and you're done.   It's actually appalling the amount of stress that can arise just from having too many choices as we did in America!

Simplification also came in non-material forms.  We exchanged the busy, frantic pace of city life for the tranquil, calm pace of life in the "Abode of Peace."   We traded in a school bus and car rides for bicycles.  Keith's 45-minute commute to work in Houston traffic turned into a 10-minute bike ride through the jungle to his office.  No more driving all over town to various activities when all of the activities here are centrally located within biking distance at "the club."  We traded in the noises of the city - car horns, sirens, the steady hum of the highway - for the sounds of the jungle - wild birds, insects, frogs, and monkeys.

The past few months, I've been striving for further ways to simplify.  I've been reading up on the concept of "minimalism", which I've discovered is an entire philosophy and radical way of life, but also seems to me how Christians should be living anyway.   Some people take it to the extreme and strictly limit the items they own to a certain number.  Others interpret minimalism as eliminating the excess (possessions, time commitments, expenses, stress, etc.) in order to focus on what's important to them.  This is exactly what I had in mind when I made "Simplify Your Life" my motto.  We don't "need" everything society tells us we need.  We have enough.  We have way more than enough.  That has become more evident since living here.  Over the past several months we have been clearing out even more clutter, donating some of it, and selling a lot of it.  Friends are asking if we're moving soon because we've gotten rid of so many things!  Even the kids are embracing this philosophy and learning that STUFF doesn't make you happy in the long run.  By giving up things, we create more time and space for shared experiences, travel, and helping others.  It's an ongoing process as we figure out as a family how to live with less in a world that constantly tells us we need more, but it's also a very rewarding process.  As Romans 12:2 says, "Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind…"   We still have a long way to go, but our mindset is gradually being transformed.

While we can't stay in the Brunei bubble forever, I'm thankful to have the time here to cultivate a more minimalist lifestyle.  I hope that we will be able to take what we learn into the "real world" and continue to pursue a more simple life.

Kota Kinabalu and Gaya Island, Malaysia (Borneo)

KOTA KINABALU -NEXUS

We've been to KK once before as a family, and Keith has been on a "Man Trip" there to climb Mt. Kinabalu, but this time we went with Keith's parents (aka Grammy & Pops from Houston.)  They finally got to visit us in Brunei and see our daily life here for a week before we flew the 40 minutes to KK.  We chose to stay at the Nexus Resort (about 1.5 hour drive from the airport in traffic) because we could get 2 villas for less money than hotel rooms at the more popular Shangri-La Resorts.  It worked out perfectly for our group of 8 for 5 nights.

The dress code at the pool.  Too bad I couldn't wear my "sexy shorts"!  At least my 2-piece got a lot of use.

We had the place to ourselves!  I probably could have gotten away with wearing sexy shorts.  

Orangutans at the Shangri-La's Rasa Ria nature preserve

The jungle canopy walk at the Rasa Ria

The kids enjoyed doing several batik paintings at the Nexus

It was nice spending time together in the relaxing environment at the Nexus.  We spent most of our time at the pool since the beach unfortunately had sand flies (just like in Brunei.)  Keith and his dad got in a round of golf at the beautiful golf course, and the kids had fun riding bikes around the property.  The 5 nights flew by, and then Keith and I said goodbye to everyone at the airport for their flight back to Brunei, while he and I took a taxi to the harbor in KK where we boarded our speedboat for the 15 minute ride to Gaya Island!  

GAYA ISLAND

Thanks to Grammy and Pops (and my amah), Keith and I were able to have 3 nights on our own at the beautiful Gaya Island Resort.  It's the first time since having 4 children that he and I have gotten away for a relaxing break.  It was definitely needed, and Gaya Island was the perfect spot.

Looking at the resort from the boat

Like out of a travel magazine.  Just gorgeous.

We took a boat over to Tavajun Bay, the resort's private beach, aka Paradise.  We enjoyed snorkeling, stand-up paddle boarding, kayaking, a personalized picnic, and relaxing here without worrying about anything!  

Our personalized picnic provider 

Keith enjoying a foot bath before his massage.

In addition to the beach, pool, and massage, we also went on a guided nature tour through the jungle, attended a guided meditation session, and went to a yoga class.  

The food here was the best we've had in Asia.  It was also the most expensive, but for just the 2 of us for 3 nights we decided we could splurge!

Fisherman's Cove Restaurant under the stars.  Fabulous fresh seafood.

The free appetizer was squid with pickled carrots.  My first reaction was to throw up a little bit in my mouth, but then I decided I would just try it.  I ended up eating all of it!  Wow, that's definitely a first for me.

Ginger-crusted red snapper.  The best dish on the island!

Sea bass with Borneo spicy sauce.

Passionfruit Creme Brûlée

Baked cod with spinach.  Yummy!

You know the food is excellent when I feel the need to post pictures of it.  Even the hamburger we had for lunch just before departure was delicious.  Maybe our expectations for food have gone way down after many mediocre hotel food experiences.  Gives us a whole new appreciation for quality food now!

And finally… I will try to mentally transport myself here when I need some peace and quiet, and remind myself how fortunate I am to have 4 children, but also how amazing it is to be able to get a little break.  Of course, my whole life in Brunei is basically a peaceful break from REAL life.  But for now, this is our surreal reality!  

  

Everything is Awesome! (At Legoland Malaysia)

I had almost given up on theme parks (let's just say we don't consider Disney World the happiest place on earth, and I would never return over and over again year after year to wait in the long lines, trudge through the masses of people and strollers and noise, and spend thousands of dollars to do it --- even though I know that's some people's idea of a good time), but since our whole family loves Lego, we decided to give Legoland Malaysia a try.

We kept our travel plans a secret from the kids until the night before.  We'd seen the Lego movie the previous weekend, so I led the kids on a little "treasure hunt" to a note that said we're going to a place where "Everything is Awesome!"  I had even attached a Lego man to the note.  They didn't get it.  Well, eventually they did, but it took several guesses, which I was not anticipating.  Kind of anti-climactic.  But then they were super excited, jumping around, hugging us, and thanking us.  Then it was time to pack!

Legoland is about a 2 hour flight away from Miri, Malaysia (which is anywhere from a 1.5- 3.5 hour drive from our house depending on the border crossing.)  We allowed plenty of time, and stopped for lunch at the boat club in Miri before catching our flight.

As a normal person, I am very frugal.  I really don't like to spend money, and I always look for the cheapest options.  As an expat (which is obviously NOT a normal person), I am slowly learning that I need to use the travel budget because that's a huge part of why we're doing this expat thing!  So, we splurged on 3 nights in the Legoland Hotel.  A lot of thought and effort has obviously gone into making the hotel a fun experience for the entire family.  A pirate ship and castle are in the lobby, with lots of play areas for the kids, and plenty of Legos to build.  The elevators have disco balls and music, so every trip to our Kingdom-themed suite on the 7th floor was a dance party.   The suites have Lego sculptures everywhere, Duplo to play with in the room, and a safe with Lego prizes for the kids when they figure out the code to unlock the safe.  So much fun!   My only complaint was that they played the most horribly annoying children's music in all the common areas!  Seriously, that part was awful.  I would have rather had "Everything is Awesome!" playing on repeat.  Must let management know.  Other than that, it was fantastic!

This dragon at the hotel entrance is made out of Lego!

The kids had fun building on this Lego wall in the lobby

In the elevator

More Lego fun in the lobby

In the Bricks Restaurant where we ate breakfast

All of these things are made out of Lego!  We never ceased to be amazed.

All Lego!

The park itself (relatively inexpensive, about $40 US per person for 2 days access to both Legoland and water park) is just across from the hotel, which was very convenient for us to rest during the heat of the day.  Unlike every other theme park I've ever been to,  Legoland and the water park were not crowded at all.  The longest line we had to wait in was about 10 minutes.  We had to do that 2 or 3 times.  Otherwise, we could walk right on and ride over and over again without even getting off!  When does that ever happen at Disney World?  Same with the water slides.  THIS is the way to do a theme park!  I will never go anywhere else!   Ha!  The weather was perfect too, with lots of wind to help even when the sun was shining bright.

For us, Legoland Malaysia was ideal.  Not too big, rides at just the right levels for our age range of kids, clean, safe, and fun.  Plus, being Lego fans, we were all fascinated by Mini Land with Lego replicas of many famous Asian landmarks, including one from Brunei!

Sultan Omar Ali Saifuddin Mosque -Brunei

Angkor Wat - Cambodia

China

Taj Mahal - India

Thailand

KL

I just kept thinking how long it must have taken to build these out of Legos.  They are truly amazing.  To think that these could be created out of little plastic toys...  We were in awe.  Of course, the real-life versions are pretty awesome themselves!  

All 6 of us ended up riding this "Beetle Bounce".  Lacy was so cute giggling as it went up high and then dropped several times!

Landon & Lacy had the train to themselves!

Lacy was all smiles on this one that went really fast!  In fact, later on she rode it completely alone.  Not a single other person was on the ride!  Ha!  

Lacy's favorite ride was this one... the Knight's Joust.  She rode it about 10 times at least!

Natalie participated in a magic show.  Pretty funny!

Just before she went on this, she said, "But Mommy, I don't know how to drive."  So cute.  I told her she would figure it out.  She only ran into the curb a few times.

The older kids enjoyed driving on a larger track

This statue was so tall, probably about 18 feet

Didn't know it could be plural!

I didn't get many pictures of the water park because we were too busy going on all of the slides!  There was one where all 6 of us could ride together in a large tube.  It was really fun, and again, I loved hearing Lacy's squeals of excitement!  The older kids went on every slide there.  The Lazy River was a big hit too, as always.  At one point I was in the Lazy River with Landon and Lacy, and we were able to wave to Keith, Natalie, and Harton who were riding a roller coaster just across the way in Legoland!

Natalie and Harton in the front row!   I didn't get pictures of their favorite ride though... a Lego Technic roller coaster that they rode at least 20 times!   I did get a video, but can't seem to post it on here.  Keith and I also enjoyed going on the rides, although 2 times in a row is my max before I get sick! 

The kids enjoyed participating in the hotel's daily model-building contest.  Harton won this one for his floral bouquet.  Natalie won the next day.  Landon wants to go back for his chance to win!

 All in all, a great little getaway!  Maybe we'll make it back again before we leave this side of the world... I don't know... should we give Hong Kong Disney a try?